D's gift

Here's D's Christmas present. I'm posting it on Craftster too with in progress pics.

Christmas Collages

Okay, they're not Christmas themed, just gifts. A koi for my mom and a bird for my dad.

Sorry!!

Okay, I'm sorry for my negative attitude lately. Blech. I'm still sick, but I can finally think without burning brain cells. I'm going to be loading my tutorials onto this blog that way you loyal reader can sift through them instead of my topics without tutes on Craftster. I'm going to be writing up a few new ones too, so don't think I'm just going to be feeding you old bits.

*off to type tutes*

Craft No

fuck I can't even craft I'm so sick. Now Darren's sick too. This fucking sucks.

Holy Crap

I STILL have the plague. I'm dying over here.

I feel shitty

I feel like crap and I'm really pissy. Grrr.... That's all for today

Here's a link

to my Shrek wedding cake. http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=278995.0

I'll post more here later. I've got a major headache and I'm going to throw up.

Craft Fair

The show fucking sucked. I ended up $5 in the hole and I think Robby made $3. We got a ton of comments on how cute our stuff was. Several enlightened shoppers told us how much they like our uniqueness. We got a lot of people telling us that everything we had was so different. That was nice, but not worth sitting there for 2 days staring at a nonsensical motivational poster in a rigid plastic chair. The whole thing was shitty. boo.

dotees

These dotees were made for some friends. No names yet so I don't spoil the surprise.

Dear Managment,

In my most deranged moment I wanted to seize a can of spray paint, tramp through the grassless ground cover of rocks to where your fortress lays. Picturesque in your faux glory; ads in a stupid lying book. I would shake my can of spray paint all the while knowing how it would look already. Why I picture it black when I only have blue spray paint I don't know. In my anger I make sharp stabbing letters as high as I can reach and as large as I can make them. Swallowing the lump in my throat like it was something non imaginary, sweating out tears of strangled rage I tell them all what you really are. You are heartless gutless swine. The job you do is utterly beyond my grasp. I cannot understand thriving as a person without pity. Your pitiless nature no doubt loves your work, but it would make me sick to my stomach every night.

WIPS

Today I made marshmallow fondant to cover the cake I baked yesterday. I love the recipe and the texture. the whole thing is a success so far. Tonight I'm frosting it and we're taking it for a test run. I already think I will add more honey to my next cake though. The spices are good but I think with the frosting it might not shine as much. I may tweak them, but not much.
I also expect to finish the cake topper tonight. They only need arms and some clothes. The clothing will be mostly hand stitched so they won't be breakable like clay.
I am going to add 2 more things to my thank you package. I'm not sure what yet but something small. I made 2 things already. The book I finished making last night ended up taking the longest of any swap project I've ever done!
My angel package is coming along okay. I'm going to make a couple of more things. I made a cool cuff today that totally rocks though! D talked me into using the vulcan sign for my project and it's great! Pics later.
I still haven't worked any on my mom's blanket though. Bleh. I also haven't done anything new with my poor doll house either. Oh well.
D and I got married on this day 4 years ago and are celebrating in the peace of doing nothing at all. It's great and I'm crafting away. *happy sigh*

Tonight tonight toniiight......

Woah oh! Okay, enough Phil Collins. Tonight I'm baking my test cake and soaking it. Tomorrow it will be filled, iced and covered. Want to know what kind of cake I'm making?

carrot spice cake soaked in honey butter with pumkin cream cheese filling, marshmallow fondant and white chocolate orange truffles.

Yum?

Thank you card

I made this for a friend to thank her for an awesome halloween party. I found a die cut bat that I filled with sequins, stamped some paper and cut the trim off of another card. I didn't even need to resize anything because the card stock, paper and trim all ended up being the same width. Bonus!

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately. I think most of my pressure has been alleviated, but my mind is still reeling. I am going to make a list of the things I need to do and just start checking them off. I adore lists and I love crossing things off! :)
Here's what I'm working on:

Blanket: I'm never going to finish! I don't know what made me chain so many in the first place! It's going to be wonderful if I ever finish. I'll work for hours and only get 3 or 4 rows done.

Angel Package: I've started stalking but I don't know anything about Deep Space 9.

Thank You Package: One item done, a few to go.

Wedding Cake Topper: I finished all but Shrek's arms and Fiona is well on her way. I'm making them look like shrek and fiona, but also they look like Lauren and Coby. I'm hung over today so I will resume progress tomorrow.

Cake Recipe: I'm going to test out my cake recipes for the wedding cake. Wish me luck!

Craft Fair: The 8-9. Wish me luck because the last couple have been shitty. I need to boost my stock though because some regular customers are looking for new stuff. Sure, let me just get on that. :P

It seems like there should be more, and I'm probably forgetting something, but everything except the blanket needs to be done by the 15th. Oy.

the $10,000 trash can

http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=275242.0

Here's the link because typing it all out is too much effort. Forget copy and paste, so link it is. :)

So, no progress...

I haven't made any progress on my doll house other than the floor. I've decided to tile the floor with some polymer clay faux stones. I'm excited about that, but first I need to get a handle on my Christmas presents and a wedding cake. Oy!

Pasties!

I made some pasties for a swap, then some for a friend, then I just kept going! I love them all.

the Visitor

I just watched the Visitor. It's a movie about an aimless man who finds squatters in the apartment he never uses. He lets them stay and they give him direction. Of course. That being said, here's where I'm getting...
If you've seen Stranger Than Fiction you'll know where this is going in a minute. If you haven't stop reading this, go rent it and watch it. Oh, and rent the Visitor too, but watch it second. There's a scene where Harold is told that the book needs to be finished the way it was written. That's because it was a writer's masterpeice. She doesn't end up finishing the book like she would have and the masterpeice disappeared. I think this movie left the same feeling that reading her story untouched would have left.
I feel like crying, laughing... everything. It was amazing and terrible, beautiful and ugly.

Yeah, whip it for me...

Buzzed and eating frozen thin mints is a good thing. Yummo!

Still

throwing up.

The Popsicle Stick House

Way back in the day of knights and shining armor and Nintendo wasn't invented.... (okay, I only know like 3 people who are going to get that joke. Plus I don't think they read my blog anyway) So yeah, Nintendo was invented,but the 64 was still way in the distant future. The point is, that digital cameras didn't exist either.

Anyway, I had a project in the 5th grade. We all had to build a log cabin. It could be built of anything, we could have our parents' help, but we couldn't use a kit. Of course me being the overacheiver that I am (was?) had to make it all decked out. My parents both love a good school project so the fam was off and running. It took the 4 of us I think a week of evenings to make the be all end all of popsicle stick cabins. We used a couple of boxes of sticks, a few bottles of glue and a box of toothpicks. The door had a handle and canvas hinges. The structure was built more soundly than our own apartment and there was furniture. We had a cabinet with shelves and dishes, there was a table and chairs plus a rug. My mom made an awesome tiny rocking chair out of toothpicks. She soaked the toothpicks in water all day then let them dry under a fire extinguisher to curve the toothpicks so it really rocked.

All my class mates were so angry and jealous because they thought we made it from a kit, but we used supplies we already had. It was so good in fact, this is really the actual truth, that the other 5th grade classes all came in to see it. Unfortunately we glued the roof on without thinking that maybe it could be functional. It had windows and a door though, so it wasn't very hard to see the insinde anyway.

One day, a few years later, it died. We were moving and the vacuum cleaner fell out of the truck right onto the cabin. It broke into a million pieces and I mourned it for a long time. I've been wanting to make another one since. I finally got off my lazy ass and sat down on my lazy ass to make it last night! I made some floor braces and am about to start laying the foundation. Yay!!!

Well that sucked

So yeah, the craft fair was shitty. We were in a bad location, nobody was buying, it was lame.

Craft Show

My first craft show of the season is tomorrow. I hope I kick ass. I think I will.

Nightmare!

I had the worst nightmare last night. I was at a mod meet up and we were all there. Every one of us got a bad sunburn and for some reason two of us were walking through a huge locker room full of naked soapy girls with huge boobs. I was so burned and sun stroked that I said: "Look, I don't even want to have sex with any of these girls". Then I woke up screaming.

I tried something new.

And I'm really good at it. But Darren has the camera for the weekend. :(

Rain Rain Go Away

I love love love rain. I hate it though when it rains when it's hot out. This mold is friggin' killing me.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

I made this for my mom. She's got a Reepicheep stuffy and a Prince Caspian amigurumi that I made for the ship on her mantle. Of course she needed Eustace. He's got a gold arm band and he's crying. I know it's kind of gross, but I want to make one for myself of Eustace being torn out of the dragon skin by Aslan.

As of late....

I think this is everything I've made this month... Oh, wait, sorry. I made some teddy bears for my dad, but I didn't get any pics. :( One was crocheted using fun fur and the other one was needle felted. Anyway, here's my latest projects. Hopefully I will be a lot more productive in the clay area this month.

In an effort to urge people to try more adventerous projects in clay, I've written up some tutes on Craftster on painting with TLS. Here are two books I made using a finished sheet of TLS collage. One day the world will be fearless!

Trash to Treasure

Well, it's not treasure, but I like it. Here are a bunch of trash charms. :)

Long time no see....

Sorry about the huge space between blogs! After crafting away and saving as much money as I could for the mod meet up in Boston and having trouble logging in here, y'all don't know anything that I've made lately!

Here are a few baby sets that I've made for Cathi's store. The tiny wigs are infant hats and the orange and "peanut butter and jelly" set is for Sweets.

I'm working on a ton of cool clay stuff today. :)

The Most Tragedy in the World

Okay, I must warn you, this blog may be very traumatic. If you keep reading please know that what you are about to read will make you cry. Only the coldest of cold hearts could make it through this terrible story without shedding tears. Seriously.
You've been warned....


So it all started with a tape. VHS tape that is... Darren and I were watching a porno film years ago and it got stuck in my combo television and vhs player. That was a tragedy in and of itself right there I tell you. So, we try to wedge it out of the player with the end result being hundreds of yards of tiny fornicating couples (at least 2 people per frame anyway) reeling out onto my floor. The television coughed out Kiki Goes to College like a cat with an atomic hair ball. Unfortunately strings of adult film were still stuck in the teeth of the vhs player. As we flossed the tv and got all the tape out, the flat plate that the tape sits on popped out too. Crap, dental surgery. We shove the plate back in, hook up the dvd player to it and put it in the Bitch Cave.

5 years later........

"Tim Curry was a scary clown, a 1920's speech therapist, a pirate..."
"He can do anything!"
"I loved him in Muppet Treausre Island!"
"I have The Great Muppet Caper."
"That's the best movie ever!"
"I agree! Let's watch it right now. I've got it on vhs."
"Oh cool, I think this tape player works. One of our tv's ate a tape and doesn't work anymore."
"Let's try it on a movie I don't care about and then we'll watch the Muppets."

Robby hands me an old tape and I put it in the tape player. The vhs starts playing and we watch several minutes of a movie. I fast forward, stop, rewind.... all those things you do to to check a vhs' ability to play. So, Robby hands me another vhs and I put it in the cassette player. We watch some static, then a movie comes on. We see the distinct wobbly lines, slightly off colors, non digital sound and all the glory that is vhs. *Resume vhs functionality experiment* Everything works wonderfully! Yay!!!!
"Put in the Muppets!!!!!!!" *said in unison*

We put in the tape, sit back and put our feet up. I press play. Nothing happens. I press play. Same result. I press play. At last! We see the opening screen! woo yeah! Oh wait, what's happening? Why did the movie stop? NnnnooooooooooooOOOOO!

I eject the tape and there are several feet of furry capering icons lying stretched on the table. I didn't want to pull the tape more and neither did Robby. He suggested cutting the tape since we were going to have to pull it out anyway. I get my tiny scissors as close to the tape door as possible. I want to minimize the damage. I carefully cut the tape and pull the cassette. Not only is most of the tape not stretched (there was a good portion stretched out, but not all of it), but the bit of tape stuck in the player was just barely under the door. As soon as I cut it, the tape slipped easily out of the door.

This was the catalyst to a night of mourning. We mourned the loss of the tape and the growing tragedy that befell The Muppets in their last moments. Please take a moment of silence to honor and remember Jim Henson and the Tape That Shall Never Play Again.

Just a little taste

Here's what I've listed on my etsy recently. I love the fast food ones, but those sold before I had a chance to list them!

etsy

I set it up and made 2 sales already! Woooo yeah! Check it out yo!
creationsbyteapot.etsy.com

Penises about the house

Okay, so I know where one penis is... (Darren's asleep in bed), but I lost the other! I was making a penis shaped lip balm cozy and I tried it on my lip stuff and lost it! How hard would a tiny penis be to find?! It's just up and gone. I had another tube close to that one so I could make another. It's much longer than the other one so I was going to use brown yarn. Although it's not a penis yet, it's still missing too. Grrr....

New piercing!

Woo yeah!

Beaker

I love this kaleidoscope. I need to buy more kits to make one for myself.